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| Biker vs. Sparrow A biker is riding along a country lane, when a sparrow flies up in front of him. The biker can't do anything and hits the sparrow. As he looks in his rear view mirror, he sees the sparrow lying in the road. Being the kind of guy he is, he stops, picks up the sparrow and takes it home and puts it in a cage, still in a coma. When the sparrow wakes up the following morning, he looks through the bars of the cage and says, "Shit, I must have killed the biker". |
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From the Old Gypsy Man
One day several years ago I was riding through Nevada somewhere off the beaten path. I rode into a small town and parked the bike in front of a little diner that had a small menu posted outside the door. It said:
Cheese sandwich $ 3
Ham & cheese sandwich $ 5
Hand jobs $10
I'd never seen anything quite like that but it was Nevada after all. Things are different there. So I walked inside and sat down at the counter. In a couple of minutes a beautiful young woman came over to take my order. Her hair was long and blonde, framing a gorgeous face with striking blue eyes and full red lips. Her hands were her best feature. They were small, I love a woman with small hands. They make me feel so... big. Slim graceful fingers were tipped with lovely red nails. I couldn't take my eyes off them. When she approached I started to get a little nervous.
"Harrump", I had to clear my throat, "Are uh, you the uh, the girl who gives the $10 hand jobs?"
"Why yes, Honey. You interested?" she replied.
"No", I demanded. "Go wash your hands and make me a cheese sandwich." |
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A blind man wanders into an all girls biker bar by mistake.
He finds his way to a bar stool and orders some coffee.
After sitting there for awhile, he yells to the waiter, "Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?"
The bar immediately falls absolutely silent. In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says,
"Before you tell that joke, sir, I think it is only fair, given that you are blind, that you should know five things:
1. The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat.
2. The bouncer is a blonde girl.
3. I'm a 6 foot tall, 175 lb. blonde woman with a black belt in karate.
4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weightlifter.
5. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler.
Now, think about it seriously, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?"
The blind man thinks for a second, shakes his head, and mutters, "No... Not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times." |
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